How to Stay Open and Curious During Difficult Conversations: 4 Tips to Help You Communicate Better
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Share “snapshot” opinions
“If you come into a conversation holding your opinions more loosely, it can make it easier for everyone in it to explore each other’s perspectives …
So next time someone asks you what you think about a tricky issue, try kicking off your answer with something like, ‘Here’s where my head’s at right now…’ or ‘Well, here’s what’s coming to mind as I think about it.’”
2. Change the question
“Instead of asking ‘Whose perspective wins?’ ask, ‘What makes each perspective understandable?’ If you want to be more curious when you talk to people who think differently from you, don’t try to win or change minds. It’ll distract you from a more interesting and productive conversation that, incidentally, will be much more likely to end up changing minds.”
3. Listen longer
“Listening longer is one of the toughest things to do ... How do you know you’ve done it enough? Here’s a good rule of thumb: When you’re really itching to offer a comment on someone’s opinion, make yourself ask one more question first.”
4. Acknowledge agreement
“When you’re in conversation with someone who disagrees with you, finding something you agree on is like building a basecamp partway up a mountain: You can climb higher faster.”
Source: Greater Good Magazine, “How to Stay Open and Curious in Hard Conversations” by Monica Guzman
