From Lighthearted to Deep: 4 Questions to Strengthen Any Friendship
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1. Ask Questions About Learning and Growth
“It’s also great to learn more about someone’s desires for their own growth or learning. Since development is correlated with happiness, these kinds of questions can tell you a lot about what your friend wants for themselves—and what will bring them joy.”
Consider asking:
If you could wake up tomorrow with one new skill or capability (something real), what would it be?
What is a skill you’ve always wanted to learn or develop?
What is a small habit you started this year that has had positive effects?
What is a topic you’re fascinated by and want to learn more about?
What is a dream you have for your career or your personal life?
2. Ask Questions About the Past
“Reflecting on the past can also strengthen your bonds—because the benefit of distance gives us perspective and insight—and sharing this in a friendship can help you evolve in your understanding of each other.”
Consider asking:
What was a favorite childhood activity that you think pointed to your career interests today?
What is a past mistake that taught you an important lesson?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is a goal that you had previously but has changed or evolved as you’ve matured?
3. Ask Questions that Are Light or Superficial
“Questions about accomplishments, hopes or regrets can be intense, so it’s also wise to mix in questions that are more superficial. These kinds of questions can keep things light and get you laughing—while you’re still engaging in the process of learning more about each other.”
Consider asking:
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What is your favorite snack to buy at a gas station or airport?
What is your favorite season—and why?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
If you could travel anywhere for a week, where would you go?
4. Ask Questions About How They Think
“You can also deepen a friendship by asking questions about how your friend thinks and makes sense of things—and by comparing how you are similar and different from each other.”
Consider asking:
What are you most grateful for, in addition to friends and family?
Who inspires you and why?
What is your definition of the perfect day?
What is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?
If you didn’t do your current work/career, what would you do?
Adapted from: Forbes, “8 Questions To Deepen Your Friendship And Create Strong Bonds” by Tracy Brower
