3 Tips to Turn Arguments Into Understanding from Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant

Image from: Mojor Zhu - Unsplash

Imagine Living in Another Person’s Life

“As people realize that their views might be a little different if they’ve been born in a different place or a different time or a different family, they realize their beliefs aren’t set in stone.”

This allows us to acknowledge that beliefs and ideas are a result of our experiences and our environment. 

Ask How People’s Views Have Evolved

Ask questions like: 

“Is there something you believed 10 years ago that you no longer believe?” 

“Is there a new nuance that you’ve adopted that wasn’t on your radar five years ago?”

In a world where so many see issues in black and white, this line of inquiry highlights areas of gray, making room to find spaces of agreement or overlap. This isn’t necessarily a foolproof solution to solving disagreements, but it can often lead to more rational discussions about the principles behind people’s ideas.

It’s Not About Declaring Victory: It’s About Changing the Way You Think

Image of Adam Grant from: Jamey Stillings, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

“The highest form of debate isn’t about one person declaring victory. It’s about both people making a discovery. The goal isn’t to defend your reasons and attack theirs. It’s to sharpen your reasoning. Good arguments shift what you think. Great arguments change how you think.” 

— Adam Grant

Adapted from: Katie Couric Media, “How to Deal With Difficult Conversations, According to Adam Grant” by Sehr Taneja