3 Tips to Building Work Friendships from Harvard Business Review

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1. Offer gestures that say, “I see you.”

“You might try sending them a message after a meeting to comment on an idea they shared or a question they posed to the group: 

‘Thanks for asking that question during the meeting. I was curious about the same thing but was too nervous to ask!’ 

‘The idea you presented is so fresh. You always have really unique strategies.’

You can even try asking them for a recommendation:

‘I loved hearing about your experience learning Ikebana. I think I need to pick up a new hobby. Any suggestions? What other hobbies have you explored?’” 

2. Highlight your similarities

“Research suggests that we like people who are like us. It’s called homophily, and it’s a simple but necessary ingredient in the friend-making process. In a time when the workforce is highly multi-generational and young workers are highly intersectional, it can be useful to uncover common ground, and then verbally acknowledge the ways in which we are the same despite our unique differences. This can increase feelings of fondness toward one another. Gen Z workers are also shown to highly value feelings of relatability.”

3. Say the quiet part aloud

“After sharing a belly laugh or discovering yet another commonality, offer something that verbally affirms the value this person adds to your life. You might say something like, 

‘It’s so nice meeting someone who appreciates _____ as much as I do.’”

‘Working here would not be the same without you!’ or 

‘It’s so nice getting to know you for who you are outside of just your role here at the company.’”

Adapted from: Harvard Business Review, “How to Turn a Coworker into a Friend” by Danielle Bayard Jackson